This morning as I laid in bed begging physics to allow me to slip into a crevice in time, my body ached after a night of being kicked, punched, shoved and suffocated. If I were to describe to you the events that occurred in my bed last night, you might think I were being abused, or maybe walking on the wild side.
The truth is, I was just sharing my space with a very scared, tormented and weary little boy.
Every night, a nightmare jolts him awake. In tears he runs into my room, leaps onto the bed and burrows next to me.
Several months ago, I tried to get him to sleep in his own bed. For a week, I carried him back to his room three or four times a night. Finally, I awoke one night to find him standing at the end of my mattress, clutching my foot, with tears streaming down his face. “I’m just going to wait here until the sun comes up,” he whispered.
My heart broke.
My arms scooped him up next to me.
Last night was particularly bad. The torment seemed to have settled in like a relentless, foreboding hurricane. He rocked and swayed in the bed, teeth grinding and eyes clamped shut.
I whispered love and stroked his hair. Toby rolled over and his arms surrounded the little body like a fortress from the invisible. In his sleep, he clung to Toby like a life source: pleading, shaking and groaning.
Then Toby began to pray.
It was gentle and calm, but it was sure. He spoke with power and commanded the nightmares to leave. He claimed promises and protection. He whispered hope and healing. He breathed light into darkness. He spoke peace into a broken heart.
And then all was quiet again. The little frame lay still. His heartbeat slowed. His eyes relaxed. His mouth fell silent. He inhaled; this time, calmly and deeply.
I love God moments. Especially in the middle of a dark night.
 A couple of weeks ago, Toby and I caught the red-eye flight and zoomed out of Alaska for a much needed respite. Our justification for the trip was that we were attending Soma School outside Seattle. We had heard from a great friend that the school was amazing and we hoped to combine our needed rest with a bit of inspiration.
We sorely underestimated the experience.
First, there was no rest. Our time was packed with non-stop, [...]
 “I doan tink you unnerstaaand!”
“Excuse, me?” I ask.
“I doan tink you unnerstaaaand!” He says it with lanky arms waving, boney chest stuck out, eyes sparkling between threat and flirt, in a tone half tough-guy and half Neanderthal.
“Really? Is this the direction you want to go?” I challenge.
“I said… I doan tink you unnerstaaaaaand!” It’s his newest 11 year old phrase used for showing off, belittling younger brothers, gathering much craved attention, and tentatively [...]
 The year 2009 has been one of completely unpredictable twists and turns. In every area of my life, I’ve found myself learning to expect the unexpected: whether in my family, social, spiritual, church, or religious lives (and yes, the last three are very different entities). Knowing that all of life is an adventure, this year has had an unparalleled amount of heartache, joy, stress, concern, and question associated with it.
Among the general experiences of humanity [...]
As I sat next to him, holding his hand while he struggled to fall asleep, my mind could only imagine the thoughts swirling around in his head. It has been a hard summer for these boys; after years of equally difficult seasons. At night, as they will their brains to rest, they toss and turn, leaning toward their hopes of trust and safety, and flinching from bedbugs: memories of disappointment, loneliness, anger, isolation, and fear.
Last [...]
“I can’t believe you are buying these.”
I couldn’t believe it was the IKEA clerk who said it.
“What do you mean? ” I asked. “These hooks are amazing!”
“Except…” she paused and slowed her speech as if speaking to a four-year old, “they are dog butts.”
“Exactly. Dog butts!” I beamed. ”Aren’t they great?”
She didn’t seem convinced.
But I was. I couldn’t help it.
I simply HEART dog butts.
I do. I really, really do.
This summer, I’ve had alot of things appear in the middle of night.
Little, wiggling boys sans clothes and underwear. Phone calls with urgent requests. Mosquitoes the size of pterodactyls. Grown men yelling threats. [...]
As a recipient of several accidents resulting from distracted or impaired drivers, this new UK PSA tells a story that brings back scary, personal visions for me. Everyone needs to watch this; especially teens enamored with texting.
Warning: the reality of it all is a bit graphic.
Boy – “So, what would you do if you were being chased by zombies?”
Toby – “Well, I suppose I’d put on my invisible suit.”
I’m driving down the road, looking for signs and watching traffic, when suddenly a flurry of activity and cacophony of sound bellowed out of the back seat.
“SlugBug! Blue with silver stripes and rims! No returns. No slugbacks. No Time Machine. No Ultimate World 2. No NOTHING!”
And that was just for the first person in the car!
With lightening speed the same phrase was repeated over and over, each person punched [...]
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